Boers and Bernstein
Boers and Bernstein is an afternoon drive-time sports talk show on Chicago's WSCR hosted by former Chicago Sun-Times columnist Terry Boers and current 670theScore.com columnist Dan Bernstein. The program airs weekday afternoons from 1 p.m. to 6 p.m. The pairing debuted in 1999 and originally aired from 8 a.m. to 12 p.m., then aired from 10a-2p and 2p-6p until moving to its current 1p-6p time slot in 2009, making it the longest-running sports talk program in Chicago.
Segments
Who Ya Crappin'?
The program is best known for its signature segment, "Who Ya Crappin'?" that usually airs on Thursdays at 5:00 p.m. unless preempted. The segment takes its name from an interview that co-host Terry Boers did with then-Chicago Bears head coach Mike Ditka, in which Boers criticized Ditka for being resigned to his imminent dismissal, and Ditka responded that Boers previously chided Ditka by saying that having a fiery demeanor was "the wrong thing to do, so who ya crappin?" In the spirit of the initial confrontation, listeners are asked to expose—by calling, emailing, or TEXTING (you have to scream that)—a member of or beyond the sports world who has "lied, misled, told a half-truth," or, best capturing the essence of the segment, "engaged in an act of verbal hypocrisy." Participants try to earn the hosts' tacit or sometimes overt approval through well constructed and presented entries, with the key catch phrase concluding each entry. Callers who fail to approach the exercise correctly (callers must focus on something someone said, not something someone did) or take too much time to arrive at the conclusion are taken off the air and chided for their inability to complete the task, usually with the gunshot sound effect previously employed during High Noon. Regular "crappers" include Gary in Evanston, Ten-Foot Midget, Black Physicist, the Blind Chauffeur, Bichiro, Unemployed Lawyer, Government Fromage, Quit Playin, North Side Fro Dog, Mr. Mouth, and resident martial arts expert, Steve in Bolingbrook and K-Man Pilkers in DeKalb. First time callers are greeted with the prerecorded "Good luck with your first crap," a quote from the Dennis Franz character, Andy Sipowicz, from NYPD Blue.*
- The Second Half - A recap of the first half of the show, followed by brief editorial remarks from the hosts read over "Roundup," a Sam Spence musical number familiar to viewers of NFL Films. Each comment is punctuated by a whistle sound effect.
- Friday Fung- A Friday segment of varying themes as dictated by the hosts. The title of the segment is a play on Ozzie Guillén's Venezuelan-accented pronunciation of the word "fun."
- High Noon- A defunct, yet still popular (and oft-referred to), segment from their previous mid-day time slot, similar in concept to the later "The Second Half," but with a gunshot sound effect after each item. High Noon was revived for one segment on May 12, 2009, and again on March 2, 2011 when the show was on location at White Sox spring training.
- The Extra Point- The hosts offer opinions on a number of topics being covered in the mainstream media.
- Terry's Roar of the Day - Essentially a lengthened editorial-style version of the Extra Point segment, featuring Boers.
- Terry's Thought of the Day - Essentially a shortened version of the Roar of the Day.
B&B at one time gave gift certificates for the "Crapper of the Week," the best caller during the segment, and for the "Best First Time Crapper," to a new caller.
- Mike in Milwaukee - HUH?! Just kidding. Mike offers up his college and pro football winners each Friday, and then reviews his performance on Mondays, usually not in the most sober state.
Friday Fung
- Am I a Bad Guy: listeners call in with stories of moral ambiguity, and Dan and Terry judge whether or not the caller is a "bad guy".
- Ask Us Anything: listeners ask the hosts anything. The hosts usually answer, and occasionally a guest calls, such as Ken "The Hawk" Harrelson to clarify how the Chicago White Sox "Pick to Click" works, after a listener asked.
- Brushes with Irrelevant Authority
- Cheaters Anonymous: listeners tell stories of cheating
- Crushing Defeats: listeners' tales of losses in life, sports, and other
- Daredevil or Dumbass?: listeners recount dangerous maneuvers which the hosts and producers judge as being exceedingly brave or exceedingly stupid.
- Dumb Arguments
- Dumb Injuries
- Greatest Sports Moments MISSED
- Imaginary Radio: After various callers started their calls by asserting that the hosts said things they didn't, this segment was created, where callers are encouraged to posit various things they imagined was said on the radio. An example was several callers saying that Boers and Bernstein said the Tour de France was a sport, contrary to B&B's position, after which another said that B&B never said that bicycling was a sport, but that Sheryl Crow had given Lance Armstrong testicular cancer.
- Live Ringers: Listeners retell stories of playing involved in pick-up or amateur level sporting events in which current or professional players are brought in as ringers, thus making the game extremely lopsided. Former NBA player Dave Corzine is an oft-referenced ringer in this segment.
- Mundane Sports Achievements: listeners recount vaguely athletic achievements in venues which can only barely be construed as sports, such as successfully hitting targets with litter from a car window.
- Relative Greatness: participants recount tales of their family members' celebrity encounters. Dave Corzine is a commonly encountered celebrity.
- Tales of Laziness: participants describe situations of extreme laziness, sometimes with unexpected vaguely athletic tie-ins along the lines of throwing a tennis ball at a television to successfully change the channel when the remote is out of reach.
- Sports Apologies: participants stage mock apologetic press conferences for sports figures.
- Ask Brian Urlacher Anything: listeners' questions are answered with a pre-recorded short quip by the Chicago Bears' middle linebacker from a press event where Urlacher responded to questions with monosyllabic answers or said "go to foxsports.com."
- Ask Rusty: listeners solicit advice from noted caller "Rusty from Stickney (now Jacksonville)," who dispenses uneducated stereotypical blue-collar wisdom. Rusty's association with the show dates to when he called back, saying that he was being kidded at work for being misquoted, until Boers and Bernstein played back the tape.
- Sports Collectible Items You Just Can't Get Rid Of
- Stupid Putts: Tales of golfing misadventures. Usually done around the Masters or the U.S. Open golf tournaments.
- Wild at Heart: listeners recount outrageous attempts at picking up women, usually during Valentine's Day week
- Working Rules: listeners' stories of noncompliance with a rule
If Who Ya Crappin? is preempted, it often becomes the theme for that week's Friday Fung.
Quote of the Year
Every year, typically in December, they compile a list of the best quotes from that given year. They also hand out other consolation prizes and the ultimate winner of the quote of the year is inscribed on the 'Larry Horse's Ass Trophy'.
Previous winners of QOTY include reference:
Tournament of Bad
Every year, during the College Basketball tournament, a list of bad events, news stories, etc are compiled and organized into a bracket that listeners are given the chance to vote on, ultimately selecting the winner.
Frequent guests and contributors
Notable events
- A caller inadvertently created a new character for the show, when he phoned in and chastised Boers, mistakenly calling him Larry Horse. Larry Horse, though fictitious, became a "member" of the show, and though he never spoke, was often mentioned, sometimes in skits (reference in a Matt Hasselbeck interview).
- An elderly lady once called Dan Bernstein and Steve Silverman (filling in for a vacationing Boers) asking exasperatedly for the score of Detroit and the Rams. This was presumably for gambling purposes. It led to the famous quote "you have the papers damnit".
- Dan Bernstein flipped out at a caller when he called to suggest the White Sox sign Dimitri Young rather than try to trade for Adam Dunn. The scream that Dan made has been replayed on many occasions when a caller frustrates the show's hosts.
- A listener to the show edited the Bearforce 1 Wikipedia page to add Dan Bernstein as a "founding member" of the openly gay musical group (Bearforce 1 is also the nickname for the team jet of the Chicago Bears). Upon learning this, the name of that group, "Bear Force One", has now become a recurring joke on the show. reference
- During one show, an audio clip of Tyler Hansbrough reading "Chicken Little" was played (originally recorded for a promotion involving the Indiana Pacers and a local library), in which Hansbrough's terrible reading including his mispeak of "a corn fell" instead of "an acorn fell" has become a show staple when speaking of 'stupid' people or people who were home schooled.
External links